The New New
Why I Won’t Upgrade My Phone Until It Can Turn Into a Magic Pony
The next generation of phones will have to feel a lot more special to get me to spend another dime on a new one
Of all the absurd things I’ve hoarded over the years, by far the stupidest collection in my closet is a box of old mobile phones. I’ve told myself that if my current phone got crushed under a bus, I could always pull out one of these old beauties and make use of it in a pinch. Or if there were an apocalypse, I might be able to barter one away in exchange for food or water.
But in truth, I think I’ve just held on to them because they mark the passage of time, a less sentimental version of one’s elementary school photos. Plus, how often do we get to document, on such a personal level, the rapid evolution of a particular piece of technology?
When mobile phones were first introduced, they were elusive status symbols, the accessories of celebrities and people who needed to be reached at any moment of the day. Their huge, brick-like size announced their worth: Look at me, they screamed, while their various accessories and cables splayed vulgarly across the caller’s desk or car dashboard. My father, a doctor who was often on call at the hospital, had one of these…
