Nerd Processor

What I Learned From Watching 33 Hallmark Christmas Movies

The semi-heartwarming saga of two people and countless tales of holiday schmaltz

Rob Bricken
OneZero
Published in
6 min readNov 1, 2018

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Credit: Holly Anissa Photography/Moment/Getty

OnOn October 27, the Hallmark Channel began its annual “Countdown to Christmas” movie series with Christmas at Pemberly Manor. You read that right: Since 2016, the channel’s traditional slate of original holiday movies has started before Halloween. How else could Hallmark air 37 entirely new Christmas films before the end of the year?

No, that’s not a typo. Hallmark really is releasing more than three dozen entirely new holiday movies for 2018 — and I’m going to watch all of them.

I’ve become a Hallmark original holiday movie nerd. It’s a recent development: My fandom began in the middle of October 2017, when my wife informed me we would watch all 33 of Hallmark’s 2017 Christmas films and do a podcast on them. At that point, all I knew about these movies was that they were cheesy, schmaltzy, and utterly formulaic. But I didn’t hesitate to say yes.

My wife suffers from depression, and 2017 had been an especially rough year for her. There were many reasons, including difficulties at work and the continuing fallout of the new presidential administration — not that the chemicals in her brain need…

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OneZero
OneZero

Published in OneZero

OneZero is a former publication from Medium about the impact of technology on people and the future. Currently inactive and not taking submissions.

Rob Bricken
Rob Bricken

Written by Rob Bricken

The former editor of io9.com, Rob Bricken has been a professional nerd since 2001. He also often cries at children's cartoons.