Nerd Processor
The Ultimate Guide to ‘Fantastic Beasts 2’
Answers to all your questions about the mess that is ‘The Crimes of Grindelwald’
Were you one of the millions of people who saw the much-anticipated, Harry Potter–adjacent Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes of Grindelwald this past week? Were you confused by it? Maybe even a little irritated? Are you interested in knowing what happens but don’t want to sit through the movie’s nonsense? Don’t worry! I have all the answers for you right here. (This should go without saying, but yes, massive spoilers ahead.)
Can you briefly summarize the movie?
A bunch of wizards run maniacally around Paris until Johnny Depp gives a TED Talk.
Okay, how about a longer version?
Credence Barebone (Ezra Miller), the teen Obscurial who can turn into a deadly ball of black mist, has gone to Paris in the hopes of finding his real mother. Grindelwald, now in full-time Johnny Depp mode after briefly being Colin Farrell in the first film, escapes from magic jail by killing a bunch of people, then heads to Paris with an unnecessarily dramatic scheme to get Credence to join him.
