Nerd Processor

The Star Wars Disney Theme Park Is a Little Too Authentic

Disneyland’s newest addition is a nerd paradise that plays out like an interactive theater nightmare

Rob Bricken
OneZero
Published in
6 min readAug 2, 2019

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ANAHEIM, CA — A preview of the Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run ride at Disneyland from the Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge media event on May 29, 2019. Photo: Allen J. Schaben / Los Angeles Times via Getty

WWhen I was young, the idea of an amusement park based entirely around Star Wars would have been paradise on Earth. Now that I’m 42, Disney has actually created Galaxy’s Edge, and I… well, I still desperately want to go. But I’m also very, very afraid of what I’m going to find there.

If you’re unaware, Galaxy’s Edge is the newest addition to Disneyland, a giant, 14-acre theme park based entirely around the Star Wars franchise. Calling it a theme park may actually be misleading, as it’s supposed to be a true immersive experience, as if you’re actually being transported to the universe of the movies. What this means is there isn’t a spinning teacup ride where all the cups are Darth Vader helmets, or even a roller coaster where all the cars are made up like Star Wars spaceships. It’s much more intense.

When you enter Galaxy’s Edge, you are actually entering the Black Spire, a remote trading outpost on the planet Batuu, which is situated on the Outer Rim of the Star Wars galaxy. It’s not something you’ve seen in the movies, but a new location created for the park (and already a very

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Rob Bricken
OneZero

The former editor of io9.com, Rob Bricken has been a professional nerd since 2001. He also often cries at children's cartoons.