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Don’t Be That Guy on Zoom
A new online etiquette
Back in March when I first started spending my days on video calls, I used my laptop camera as it came: angled back, unflatteringly aimed up my face, and into my nostrils. Behind me, light from a window blew out the image, rendering me the sort of anonymous silhouette that might have kidnapped your family. A good 60% of the shot was my ceiling. I was a digital “Kilroy was here,” my face and nose poking out from the bottom of the screen.
I have evolved. With my new setup, I use an iPad to Zoom. It’s become a dedicated videoconferencing device, positioned slightly above me, angled down like a good Instagram photo. Natural light comes in from the window behind it. The difference is stark. In the original setup, I was in a dingy basement, someone that might peddle cheap sausages of dubious origin. Now I’m in a modern airy room, a professional you’d happily trust with your internet browser history. I have a plant in my background. People like that plant.
We’re told that first impressions count, that we make snap decisions about people the instant we see them, and that these decisions stick. Now our first impressions are through a pixelated grid of rectangles.
We can make assessments, not only of someone’s appearance, but also of their lifestyle, from the sliver of home we see behind them. That room is a bit cluttered. Why do they have that on their wall? What’s that on the floor? And we start reading between the lines. Are they standing in front of that bookcase to look smart? Is this really what their room is like or all a sham to impress us? We nose through the titles of the books behind them. Is that 50 Shades of Grey?
“Fortunately,” says the New Yorker, “an authoritative Twitter feed appeared in April to codify our cattier impulses. It’s called Room Rater (@ratemyskyperoom), and, although often generous, it has earned a reputation as the pandemic’s Mr. Blackwell.” The feed gives voice to our inner monologue by rating the backgrounds of commentators on TV: “Hostage video with natural light. 2/10” they say of Dylan Byers’ background, or of Michael Cooper’s room: “Inappropriate use of smallish vanity pics. Even the plant is misplaced. No Justin, is he? 2/10.” It is pure id brought to life and focused entirely on Zoom backgrounds.
